Doritos and Ramen

I am taking a physics class twice a week right now at my local community college. In addition to learning about Newtonian physics before they agree on a better, more accurate type of physics to explain our universe, I also get a handy dandy student ID for discount movie tickets. The class is two hours long, and as such, our professor gives us a 10 minute break in the middle of the class to avoid anyone dozing off or completely having a fit that they were required to (gasp) learn for 2 straight hours.

To my left in the class sits a slightly overweight, balding gentleman that appears to be in his late 20′s/early 30′s. This individual somehow makes it a point during each class to work in the fact that he is going to be going to law school in the fall, and that he is only taking this class to fulfill a science requirement. While he could have taken a lower-level physics course, he really wanted to challenge himself because he knows how tough law school is going to be… Other than his incessant bragging, he would be a pretty unremarkable individual, except that during each break he goes to the canteen and comes back to the class with an entire 4 course snack bar meal. He then proceeds to set up said items as if he were preparing for a royal tea, and wolf them down in a time of about 3 minutes flat.

I often think to myself, “Wow, he is really choosing the wrong career path. This guy certainly has a future in competitive eating.” But I am usually distracted by what he is eating. I generally spend a minute or so tallying up the caloric and sodium content of the glorious pre-dinner spread, then sit back and watch while he chews each morsel roughly 4-5 times before shoving it down the ‘ol hatch. The first few weeks of class it was the usual – cup of ramen (chicken or shrimp), some ho ho-like snack cakes, trail mix or chips and a piece of fruit for good measure. We are now in the second month of class, and I guess he has gotten bored of this traditional fare, because last week he really stepped it up.

I was using the break time to read through my lab, when I heard something being crushed at the desk next to me. I knew that my pre-law friend had returned from the snack bar because I could smell the chicken ramen, so I figured he was up to something. I continued to read by lab, but was distracted when the smashing stopped and I smelled a scent unlike any I had encountered before. A salty, preservative laden odor soon encompassed the room, and as I was trying to parse through the scent profiles in my mind, I turned to my left to find the snack bar dinner-eater dumping a bag of Doritos into his ramen.

I gazed in awe as he gleefully smashed annihilated bits of Nacho Cheese Doritos into his instant noodle cup. After tapping the end of the bag to make sure all of the decimated chip bits had evacuated the bag, he attacked with a ravenous fervour unlike any I had yet seen. He first attacked the Dorito soup with a fork, quickly realizing this was not the correct tool for the task at hand, and swapping for a spoon. In roughly 30 seconds the gruel was gone, but he spent a second or two digging around in the bottom of the cup for good measure, before chugging the liquid contents of the styrofoam serving cup; once again tapping the bottom to ensure all of the calories had been extracted.

Needless to say, this odd food combo peaked my curiosity, so I searched the web for other Dorito Ramen recipes. Surprisingly, there was not much data out there, but I did find this gem on YouTube which shows you how to make your own Top Ramen Dorito Tamales. Can someone please try this and let me know how it tastes?

The other one I found was a delicacy called “Ramen Salad”. I’m pretty sure Doritos, ramen noodles, ground beef and cheddar cheese do not classify as a salad, but I’m not trying to get too caught up in the semantics of this dish.

For anyone curious and/or daring enough to try this heart-stoppingly sodium laden dish, here is the recipe I found:

INGREDIENTS

- 1 package of ramen
- 1 bag of Doritos
- 1/2 lb. of ground beef
- 1 cup of shredded cheddar cheese
- Taco seasoning

PREPARATION

1. Put 2 cups of water in a cooking pot and bring to a boil.

2. Once the water is boiling add the ramen noodles.

3. Cook for 2 minutes.

4. Remove noodles from water.

5. Cook the ground beef in a frying pan.

6. Place ground beef in a bowl and mix in the ramen.

7. Place the Doritos around the beef like the petals of a flower. (it really said that)

9. Break the rest of the Doritos into small pieces on top of the beef. (for presentation purposes of course)

10. Add the shredded cheese and taco seasoning.