Why would they lie to us about Cheney pulling his back? What could the soon-to-be-ousted administration possibly be hiding on the final day of their eight year reign of terror? I would like to take a moment to propose four alternate theories, feel free to mix and match, or add your own.
1) This is the final step in his transition to Bond supervilain. I just know he has a Persian cat, monocle, and cheroot somewhere…
2) Being in a wheelchair ensures you do not need to stand up and honor the new president.
3) His mechanical heart needed annual maintainance, rendering his humanoid body weak.
4) He is recovering from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.
