WTF PWNED in the Face

WTF, an exclamatory acronym used when a situation plays out in a way displeasing to the party giving the statement; literally translated as “what the f-”. PWNED, I think Wikipedia says it best when they define the term pwn as, “a leetspeak slang term that implies domination or humiliation of a rival, used primarily in the Internet gaming culture to taunt an opponent who has just been soundly defeated”. In the face, referring to a particular location to which the pwnage has been done. In this case being wtfpwned in the face, meaning, you were just completely dominated by something and you saw it right in front of your face.

Now that the proper semantics have been established, I can go on to tell you what went down today at 2 pm PST for Tuna Challenge 2008. For months, maybe even years, Butterfinger has been telling me on numerous occasions that he is able to tell the different between name brand and generic tuna products. As as self-proclaimed “tuna expert” eating anywhere from 7-12 cans of tuna per week, I decided to put him to the test. Below you will see pictured the two types of tuna that went head to head in the taste test, the name brand being Bumble Bee Solid White Tuna in Water vs. the store brand Safeway Solid White Albacore Tuna in Water.

I placed the contents of each can on top of a bowl of rice with no condiments added; I felt the tuna needed to be examined in its raw form in order to get accurate results. To me both cans of tuna looked identical, and even more so when they were placed into the bowls. I hid each of the wrappers under the bowl so there would be no confusion when the taste test commenced, and also to assure I myself would not forget which was which. As I waited for Butterfinger to present himself for the challenge I put both of the tuna cans on the floor in front of Tucker, just to see which one he would pick – he smelled each one briefly and promptly went with the name brand.

Butterfinger proclaimed he could smell the generic tuna before he even reached the bottom of the stairs, and after about a 2 second glance at each bowl he had already made up his mind as to which vessel held his prized name brand fish. He was so confident that he wanted to pick without even actually performing a taste test, but at my request he indulged in a bird-sized bite of each specimen. After 15 seconds he was sure he had picked the winner, and although I should not have been surprised, he was absolutely correct. A memorable quote from the event was, “You have to be kidding me, I knew the first second I saw it”. Spoken like a true champion.

As the supreme winner and official tuna connoisseur, Butterfinger got to eat the prized tuna, while I ate the generic stuff – which did actually taste quite a bit more sour and dry once he pointed it out, thanks for that by the way (maybe it has something to do with the cans??). In addition he got to pick the title for today’s blog post, hence the title that does not quite seems to fit the pattern for the rest of my posts. But best of all, he is now going to be able to enjoy the luxury of world class tuna for all of eternity, as I have vowed to not try to sneak any more of the generic stuff into his meals (the other groceries are still fair game). I was literally WTF PWNED in the face.