Vacationitis

I wish I could say I had all kinds of fun adventures and spent a whole week soaking up the rays on the beach, but the truth is that I spent most of my vacation laying on the couch, visiting the toilet, and rotting my brain with television.  My delusions of drinking grandeur were shattered by the itis, and I think I had a grand total of 3 beers during my week-long OBX trip; an embarrassingly all-time low.  I did have a wonderful week spending quality time with my family, I just wish our fun times did not entirely consist of interactions in the living room and making fun of/discussing my erratic bodily functions.

It seems that this year could best be summed up as the year of injuries – both human and automotive.  There were no killer ants, no drugs in the bathroom, no firework fires, and no (major) tent disasters, but somehow a large number of our group managed to become injured, ill, or otherwise struck with some form of malaise during our stay.

I should have sensed something would go awry when I arrived at my parents’ house on the Friday night before our departure.  After having a few drinks at the local watering hole I had spiked a fever and was so achy that I could barely find a comfortable position in bed.  I woke up at 5 am and tried to catch some zzz’s on the couch, but to no avail, the itis had captured me, and for the next week I would have to deal with its evil ways.  The entire day prior to the trip was spent couch surfing, dozing in and out of consciousness, sipping noodle soup, paying my respects to the porcelain god, and watching a marathon of Anthony Bourdain episodes.

The morning of our departure, the already packed, loaded, and prepared van did not start.  Unsure what the issue was, we decided to take my sister’s backup car over to our grandparents house to assess the situation and see what last-minute (at 4 am) changes may need to be made in order to ensure our timely and safe arrival to the Outer Banks.  After a few attempts and some recapping of the previous evening’s events, it was discovered that the van battery had died due to the back hatch remaining open.  The van took a charge, was running well, and the car changing crisis was averted.

I did my best to be in good spirits during the ride down, despite the fact that I felt compelled to sleep the entire way in order to avoid being sick to my stomach.  We made our regular stop at the Golden Corral buffet, and all the food looked so delicous, but all I was able to down were some eggs, part of a pancake, a few morsels of sausage (which I would later realize was a very, very bad choice), and a container of yogurt.  We made excellent time to the island and were even able to get into the house early, which turned out to be a wonderful turn of events because my cousin had already “broken into” the house for a potty emergency and had activated the alarm.

My cousin and I whipped our way through the grocery store, and with the assistance of my aunt and pop-pop, we completed the Harris Teeter shopping excursion in record time, rivaling that of the impressive time we made actually getting to NC.   We made it through the first day without incident, but the rest of the week would prove to be a test.

I eventually succumbed to my sinus pressure and sickness on Tuesday and decided to pay a visit to the local urgent care.  I left with some nose spray and a prescription that would effectively tie me to the toilet for the next two days.  While I struggled with the sickness nonsense I did manage to lead my Cranium team to victory, and learn all about the wonderful world of the Webkins.

And so the injuries began:

1. My niece came down with a case of Swimmer’s Ear which seemed to be controlled by a healthy dose of a homeopathic remedy and the use of ear plugs while riding the waves (the water was absolutely beautiful all week).
2. My sister’s boyfriend burned the hell out of his peaches and cream skin within the first day of our trip – the burn pretty much stayed lobster colored until the day we left.
3. My other niece’s husband came down with the crazy sea rash he gets every year in OBX that is immune to Benadryl treatment.
4. Pop-pop cut himself doing something in the kitchen, (not really sure what) which required some Care Bear bandaid intervention from the youngest nurse in the family.
5. My cousin’s daughter got a splinter in her finger and rock in her toe – both of which are pretty traumatizing to a 3 year old.
6. And last but not least, my aunt got a barbed fishing hook stuck in her heel while she was standing about knee high in the water, which resulted in another trip to a vacation medical facility.  Some numbing medication, a little digging, a tetanus shot, and some antibiotics later she was back on the beach the next day, although my niece (who witnessed the stabbing) did not seem quite as eager to get back out on the beach.

I am finally back to 100%, just in time for my mom to be struck down by the very same itis that put a damper on my vacation.  I am pleased to say everyone has recovered from their injuries, and I think I can speak for us all when I say that we are all looking forward to an incident-free adventure next year