Tofurky Anyone?

I thought staying true to pescatarianism (if that is even a word) would be more difficult around the holidays.  It would mean the absence of baked beans with bacon, an empty bowl where my endive with hot bacon dressing used to rest, finding a substitute for the slab of ham I used to use to clean up my plate, and missing out on the traditional, sleep-inducing, turkey.  For a moment I even considered lifting my dietary restrictions for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but then I found my holiday savior – Tofurky.

In a pilgrimage that lead me from home to Wayne to Ardmore, I was finally able to capture this elusive turkey impostor.  For $14.99 I purchased the Tofurky roast with “giblet” gravy.  I walked into the house with my prize held high above my head, a holiday miracle for those of us no longer choosing to eat creatures with wings.

I had never eaten a Tofurky before, so I had no idea where to begin regarding preparation of this elusive vegan treat.  Luckily, the wonderful people that make Tofurky include highly detailed directions on the outside of the box, written at about a 3rd grade cooking level.  I chopped up some celery, carrots, and onion to place inside of a casserole dish, nestling them around the Tofurky rump, which is about the size of a small cantelope.

After the main ingredients were beautifully arranged, I then prepared a Tofurky glaze consisting of three parts olive oil to one part soy sauce.  I painted a little more than one half of this glaze on top of the roast, and then covered the whole casserole in aluminium foil.  The Tofurky cooked covered in a conventional oven at 350 degrees for 1 hour and 15 minutes, and then again for another 15 minutes uncovered with the rest of the glaze.

I was very pleased when I pulled the Tofurky out of the oven and saw that the roast had taken on a stunning, golden appearance.  It smelled absolutely fantastic, and had really come a long way from its original debut in thick colored tan plastic with metal ties and stuffing bursting from the end.  The “giblet” gravy also came to life after a few rounds of being nuked in the microwave and stirred vigorously.  The frozen gray sludge morphed into a highly aromatic mushroom-based sauce with the consistency of a homemade country gravy, perfect for mashed potatoes or oyster stuffing.

How did the Tofurky taste?

Like real turkey!  I have no idea how they do it, but somehow this concoction of tofu, wheat gluten, and wild rice stuffing tastes exactly the same as everyone’s favorite gobbler.  The consistency of the Tofurky roast is slightly different from real turkey, but at Christmas I plan to try a new carving technique involving thinner slices that may impact this textural dichotomy.  Everyone at Thanksgiving dinner that dared to try the Tofurky had nothing but good things to say about it, including my cousin’s 3 year old daughter, who had some Tofurky slyly placed on her plate.

The Tofurky tasted delicious reheated in the microwave the next day for Thanksgiving Part Deux, and my only complaint is that I wish I would have had more to put in sandwiches!