Thanks, But No Thanks

I received an email last week from my former boss offering me a part time position at the office where I first began my ophthalmology career. The place is close to my house, I would be doing something I am already proficient in, I know the docs, I know the employees, and I absolutely adore the elderly patients. When I first read the email I was tempted to reply back immediately; ready, willing and able to start as soon as the whistle blew, but before hitting the send button I took a step back to question this impulsive decision. I tried to reason that it was only two days per week, and that in those two days I would be making enough to pay the rent, which during my first round of reasoning was the only part that mattered.

A conversation with Butterfinger helped me to look at the bigger picture. Yes, the position would only be two days per week, but, fortunately or unfortunately (still have not figured out which one) my mind has a hard time of breaking free from recurring commitments. While my time commitment in the actual office would be meager, the thought of having to go into work for those two days would inevitably have an effect on what I did for the rest of the week. I can only imagine that this would adversely influence my present state of productivity, leading to a poor writing quality and less output volume.

I still remember what it was like to return home after an 8 hour day and a 2 hour commute, being too exhausted to articulate my thoughts. While I love old people with eye problems, they can be quite a handful. After you return from work you need a certain amount of time to transition your brain into focusing on something else, which is fine if your goal for the evening is to see who won American Idol, but is not so excellent when you need to sit down and create a website. I guess the point I am trying to make is, I really am not willing to return to a monotonous, brain rotting position in return for some rent money and companionship.

I had a hard time this morning writing my reply email. It is a troublesome task to find the right words to describe that while, you really appreciate someone’s offer, despite their best intentions to make the job sound appealing, you are not comfortable with returning to your former office-drone self, and have elected to continue on your present trajectory of happiness in poverty. Despite what the words above may indicate, I have no harsh feelings toward the place I used to work, and it took me about a week to finally come to the conclusion that I was not going back. I just have come too far to turn back now, and I just somehow know that going back is going to take me back into a rut that I worked so hard to get out of these past few months. So thanks, but no thanks.

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May 19th, 2008 | Employment, Startup Relationships, The Startup

12 comments

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Pingback by Working at Home on the Internet — May 30, 2008 @ 3:11 am

good luck on the interview lady!!

Comment by Jess — May 27, 2008 @ 9:18 am

I feel I need to clarify something - I am not in debt. The most fundamental thing we can do to rise up against “the man” and everything we are socialized into believing about credit institutions, the Fed, and American banking in general is to actually be financially responsible, unlike our government. If that ultimately means I have to spend some time living in my van to pursue my dreams, than so be it, but I will be damned if I head to a bank to take out a loan to cover my vacation expenses or pay for a car I do not need.

And Jess, I totally agree with you, in fact, I could not agree with you more. If it were something I actually liked doing, it would be a different story. I actually have an interview this Wednesday for a freelance writing position, so we will see how it goes:)

Comment by mandie — May 23, 2008 @ 7:56 pm

Ro’s second comment below hits the nail on the head.
Bad credit and high credit card debt is no joke. It can seriously screw your ability to get a loan/mortgage/home in the future. I know you know all of this. (you’re not a dummy)…

In my opinion: Working for yourself/your own company in the future only to be taking that money and giving most of it right back to credit debt is defeating the purpose of everything you’re trying to accomplish.
In other words: Yes you may love the work, but when you have to hand over your earnings and pride right back to the person you’re working against (”The Man”) I don’t see how you could feel like you’ve accomplished anything.

A side note on the job thing: working for 2 days a week seems to be something that may help you guys out more than it will hurt, but might I suggest that you look for something that you actually enjoy doing in the simplest terms rather than settle for something that you know you don’t exactly love doing but just are comfortable/experienced with?

What about a doggy daycare centers or dog walking? I pass a dude every night when I get off the train from work. He walks like 6 dogs, every evening and I’ve witnessed him going to someones house to pick up one of the dogs. I am pretty sure he goes and gets them all, walks them and returns them one by one. He prob gets paid hourly. MOST IMPORTANTLY: he absolutely loves what he’s doing… he holds entire conversations with the dogs. I love when I get stuck behind him and his waggster gang!-It’s so entertaining.

Comment by Jess — May 23, 2008 @ 7:31 am

:(………….i was looking forward to your return!!!! i had heard the rumors around the watercooler and couldn’t believe it. too good too be true, i guess. although you are aware that we will be one more down at the end of August, right?

Comment by ness-poo — May 22, 2008 @ 8:01 am

I have to say one little thing:
I understand and somewhat admire what you’re doing. I often think of what it would be like to live against “The American Dream.” I, however, am not able to as I owe money to a friendly little company by the name of: American Express.
If you could find it in your sense to contemplate one tiny piece of advice from me it would be this: If you want to defeat “The Man,” do not, in any shape or form put yourself in financial ruin or ruin your credit. “The Man” will show you who’s boss real quick.

Comment by ro — May 20, 2008 @ 12:12 pm

I am glad to see a good amount of discourse has taken place on this subject. I imagined that this post would strike a chord with many, especially considering the minimal time commitment that would have been required for me to return to work. For me it does not matter if its 2 hours, 2 days or 2 weeks, it is still an impedance to the progress I have made in forging a way for myself to create a life without the “assistance” of an outside employer. I may fail, I may need to get a job working for someone else, and despite how this all may come across, I have not completely lost touch with reality. I am prepared to deal with whatever may come my way, but I am not prepared to do that until I have exhausted all of my other options in pursuing the startup and my own personal goals of becoming a writer.

I am a Taurus, I am Penna Dutch, both of which combine to make me one of the most stubborn people to roam this earth. I am going to do what I want to do, and there is no way of reasoning me out of it. I am not financially motivated to do anything, so while I can easily see both sides of this argument, I ultimately had to break out from my societal conditioning mold take the path of more resistance, instead of donning my skiis and heading down the bunny slope to make the rent.

One more thing I would like to clarify, building on what Big Sis mentioned, this really has nothing to do with being supported by family/friends. I have never felt out casted for my thoughts or actions, and I know that the comments below arise from a genuine concern for my well-being mentally, physically and financially. Furthermore, I did not write this reply because I felt I needed to justify my actions, but because I want the people closest to me to know where I am coming from when I make decisions that do not seem to be in my immediate best interest.

Comment by mandie — May 20, 2008 @ 11:47 am

I have to make a second comment here - I don’t want anyone to think that the SF is not being supported - it is quite the contrary. I also don’t think that a paying job is a “slide backward”. Sometimes its the stable ground that you need in order to get your footing.

Taking risks and being entrepreneurial is a really good thing - for some it is the key to freedom and happiness. Each person needs to make that decision for themself.

Just being poor and worrying every day about $$$ (unfortunately still a day-to-day fact and necessity of our existance) for its sake alone really isn’t getting anyone to the end game any quicker.

Comment by Big Sis — May 20, 2008 @ 11:11 am

You’ve made a very very tough decision. I support you in it completely. There’s plenty of time and opportunity to slide backwards. We’re faced with all kinds of sleeve-tugging litanies driving us toward safety and mainstream version security. If you ask old people what they’d have done differently, it’s almost always something to do with not taking risks while they were young and strong enough to recover if something didn’t work out perfectly.

Go go GO, girl! Now’s the time! Believe in life after birth!

Comment by Mars Bar — May 20, 2008 @ 8:42 am

I also have to agree with the comments your sister and ro made. It is only 2 days out of your week, and it gets you out of the house and on to other things. But guess our comments come a little too late. Too bad.

Love ya
mom

Comment by mom — May 20, 2008 @ 4:01 am

I have to say - I agree with the comment below. By “sacrificing” those two days your mind will be free of the constant worry and preoccupation with paying bills and keeping food on the table. This should actually help you to be more focused on the other things you do.

Comment by Big Sis — May 20, 2008 @ 3:31 am

Oh my first friend at B-town High:
I’ve never pictured “pauper chic” as your dream lifestyle.
There is nothing wrong with a job. I have one.
Granted, I am a corporate drone; but being so allows me the freedom to do what I wish on my time off (as well as vacation days and sick time).
It’s only 2 days! Getting a steady paycheck is, in fact, completely worth it. Don’t forget how f-ing smart and hardworking you are. You’re thoughts and ideas are most likely correct!
Luv u

Comment by ro — May 19, 2008 @ 2:39 pm