Orange Goop

First, let me start off my getting something off my chest – if you are purchasing a used appliance from someone, that means at one point it was in that person’s home, performing its manufactured abilities, which in this case, is to serve as a cool shelter to prevent food from spoiling. If you are going to make the effort and waste the gas to look at said item, you should take into consideration that the item may very well still be in use, and as is the case when most things are performing a function, they are not going to look like they came straight from the showroom floor. Now, my appliances look nice, almost brand new if you will, but as I clearly state in my ad, they were purchased in January of 2006. For the past 2 years myself, along with roommates and guests that have come in and out of the woodwork, have been using these appliances to their fullest potential to obtain maximum enjoyment from owning them.

That said, lady with the attitude who drags your little brother and dad along with you to come look at a fridge that is most likely out of your price range, I take offense when you make Butterfinger and I get down on our hands and knees to prove to you that the spot you see on the bottom drawer will indeed come off with a little elbow grease. I understand the fridge is going to be the centerpiece of your kitchen, and that your self-absorbed friends will probably disown you if they notice a few smudges on the fridge when bringing you the cookie dough to eat straight out of the container while you watch reruns of Sex and the City. So a word of advice from the Target clothes wearing pseudo hippy who would not sell you a fridge if she could not even afford a McDonald’s Double Cheeseburger – you should probably start saving your paychecks to head to the store and buy something brand new, because used it just not going to cut it for an aristocrat with such high standards. Your anal-retentive imaginary stain spotting radar is not welcome in this home, not now, not ever.

Ok, feeling a little better… Anyway, this complete waste of time woman inspired me to do a once over of the stainless steel kitchen appliances we are trying to sell before we leave the house. Yeah they looked nice, but I wanted them to look better, just to be sure that this type of slightly embarassing and enslaving incident did not have a chance to happen again. I was using one of the scrubbing pads, not brillo, but the kind that are thin and a little rough – I would look at the name of them but I can guarantee you we have some sort of super generic kind that you would not recognize anyway.

So the thin pads were doing a decent job of cleaning up some of the problem areas of the stainless steel, but I was really having to scrub and I think I may have even pulled a muscle in my fingers after awhile. I was asking Butterfinger what he thought would be a good cleaner to use and he suggested a squirt of the Orange Goop we have next to the sink. This is the stuff that mechanics and hard laborers use to get all of the oil and grime off their paws after a long day of work. It has a really gritty feel to it because of the pumice and it smells just like a freshly peeled orange.

Wouldn’t you know this stuff works like a charm?! This is the best stainless steel cleaner I have ever used, and probably the cheapest as well. I would just squirt some of the Orange Goop on one side of my scrubbing pad, get the other side a little bit wet and away the marks went. I also found that tiny circular scrubs work best, and the appliances really shined when I immediately wiped the area down with a dry towel. I was half tempted to start splashing stuff all over the front of the dishwasher and stove just so I could clean it off when people came over to take a look!

Despite this wonderful find for the best stainless steel cleaner known to man, I do not think I would ever purchase this material again. Fingerprints show up in an instant, the dishwasher is impossible to keep clean from the water that inevitably drips down when gathering dishes and you can not stick anything on the front of your fridge – what fun is that? They really do look great, but unless you want to spend the time polishing them every week or so, the shine starts to dull and the funk sets in. These are the kinds of things that would drive an OCD person to the loony bin.

In conclusion, never scrub your fridge for a stranger because they will not end up buying it anyway, and use Orange Goop hand cleaner with natural pumice and a fresh citrus scent for all your stainless steel cleaning and polishing needs. Time for bed.