Food manufacturers, listen up. I really do not know why you think you have suddenly morphed into culinary ninjas slipping silently under the radar of the American people, and I just wanted to bring it to your attention that the subtle trickery is not fooling anyone. We, the people of America, understand your problems. We are all having issues with money, and none of us assume that your companies are somehow exempt from this trend. Just as gas prices are rising for us, I am sure transport costs have become more expensive for you, and you have been looking for ways to provide products to consumers without making any drastic changes in prices. Now that I have made it clear that we understand your plight, let me make it equally clear that we are not idiots.
I do not expect you to make some sort of prime time press conference to let people know that you are decreasing the size of an ice cream tub from 1.75 quarts to 1.5 quarts, but do not sit there idly by and act as though we did not notice your switcheroo. We know you are shoving less Mint Chocoloate Chip in that tub, and while it may be better for our waistline,we know it was a financially motivated move on your part. If you really cared about our BMI you would probably stop making flavors like “Death By Chocolate”.
I am also a bit perturbed that many drink manufacturers have suddenly decided to start offering ‘light’ versions of their popular beverages as a way to promote the most recent surge in the ‘war on obesity’. Thanks for the kind gesture; I would like to think you actually care about the health of the children you are pumping full of sugary juice boxes, but I think this move, like the great ice cream downsizing of 2008, is also a financially motivated ‘improvement’ to an already existing project. We all can see that your watered-down, ‘light’ versions of your carb-ridden potables are nothing more than a money saving move on your part, under the guise of sparing humanity from extra pounds.
I understand, you gotta do what you gotta do, but just be more honest in your advertising. We know the ice cream containers are smaller, and we know your juice is considered light because its mostly water. We have enough to deal with right now trying to stomach interviews with Sarah Palin, listening to Bill O’Reilly talk over Obama, and looking for renewable sources of energy.
