Changing Direction

I am sure most of you have noticed that our startup site has not been up for quite some time. We had hoped to get everything running again by February, but it is now mid-March and we are just getting back into it. A me, circa 2002, would sit here and blame our hosting company for making it impossible for us to work while we were away from home, pretty much holding our data hostage, but I know that is not the entire truth. It is just as much our fault for not severing ties with them as quickly as we should have once their evil intentions were realized, and we could have done a lot more to set up the site with a different company. At this point I am past placing blame and more interested in progression forward; and after a chance encounter while purchasing an item from a fellow Craigslister, our intentions to be successful in VOIP have once again been reaffirmed and success it no longer an option – it is a necessity.

Truth is, we have had a lot going on, and it takes a lot of my time just to make sure the house does not fall apart, dogs are well, Butterfinger is staying reasonably focused, bills are paid, food finds its way into our tummies and for the past week/this coming week – making sure that our guests are comfortable. Despite all of life’s curve balls and earthquakes throwing us from what we thought our plotted course was, we have each now found ourselves exploring opportunities that have given us a taste of what our purpose really is.

I used to think that you chose a profession, but now I have come to realize that, in time, a profession chooses you. A year ago I was devastated that I did not get into my first choice school for graduate study in the medical field. A few months later I received a letter from that same school inviting me to join them for their Physician Assistant program that was scheduled to start in less than a week; a common practice for these schools is to accept wait-listed students when already accepted students drop out or can not meet certain requirements. The timing for this could not have been worse, and I never even replied back to their note – mostly because I had been so hurt by the initial rejection letter.

I never once have regretted this decision. Retrospectively, I think my motivation for becoming involved in medicine was not completely pure, in that there are only certain aspects of medical practice I felt confident in. From a young age I became interested in the exhaustively complicated terminology associated with medicine, which was probably driven in some way by my hypochondriasis. Once you can understand the verbiage, the mastery of complicated disease etiologies and processes is not so difficult, and paying attention to your patients is perhaps the most important factor in troubleshooting symptoms to arrive at a sound diagnosis.

While I may have no problem understanding illnesses and their cures, I have never really enjoyed interacting with patients, with the exception of the elderly. I often contemplated becoming involved in a surgical specialty to avoid a lot of the confrontations common in a general practice office setting, but I never felt confident enough with my hands to the point where I could actually envision myself slicing someone’s flesh open. Pediatrics has always been absolutely out, as I can not bear to see children in pain, nor can I stand to be the inflicter of pain. Plus, I am not a huge fan of screaming babies, snotty noses, dirty diapers, overbearing parents or whining in general. My indifference for patients, coupled with my heartfelt disdain for insurance companies, pharmaceutical reps and drug companies, would probably make me a pretty unpleasant person to be around if I had to be in that type of environment 40+ hours per week.

I have been lucky enough to be surrounded by people that have not forced me into anything with which I am not 100 percent comfortable, and as a result I have come out with time. Time to find myself through writing. Despite all of the craziness, tension and issues Butterfinger and I have faced as of late, I am somehow able to find these words to make sense out of everything and reestablish order. I can go back and reconstruct why my initial career choice did not work out, and express my gratitude to have been given the time for writing to discover me.

The agenda for right now is to keep on writing, as much as I can, and as often as possible. Butterfinger will be working on some sites with me, and also doing his own thing in the alternative energy field – feel free to contact him if you want more info on what he has been up to lately. I am also going to be embarking on a new project with a good friend, and will be sure to let all of you know when we have our site and ideas better organized – I know it will be BIG. So keep on reading and I will keep on writing!