My area is abounding with bros.  For those of you who many have never been exposed to the Southern California brand of bro awesomeness, I will take the liberty of describing the main characteristics that help to classify this strange sub-culture. The East County bros are usually outfitted in slip-on Vans, button up shirts with skulls on them, “Famous” brand clothing, raised trucks, tanned, leathery skin, and have a certain air of “I am too cool for school” about them.  The coastal bros stick to surf-brand T-shirts, Oakley sunglasses, shaved chests, and many, many tattoos that help to describe their “soul, man”.

After my many encounters with these bros doing everything from Craigslist deals, changing oil, directing traffic, and preparing my burritos, I am convinced that their brains are seriously damaged from the California sun, either that or the lack of stimulating conversations with other bros.  Their mental deficiencies also manifests itself in an inability to differentiate between male and female - meaning everyone, and everything, effectively is a bro.

I do not know why the brosephs bother me so much, but I am instantly frustrated when having to deal with them in any situation.  I guess maybe to me they represent living proof of the demise of the US’s focus on education, and a shining example of the laziness epidemic.  Perhaps the worst part is the fact that they do not even say “bro” correctly, instead choosing to pronounce it “brah”.  Who does that?!  Ugh…  I am just glad to be on an east coast vacation right now and away from the cesspool of poor language skills, although I do miss my puppies:)

For further reading, I took this from a “bro’s” MySpace page (be warned, I did not correct spelling or grammatical errors) -
definition of a bro: a usually white young male, found commonly in places like san bernardino county in california, as well as orange county. always, without exception, drive big lifted trucks, often white. has the name of their crew or whatever in big white letters on their back window (ie, “skin”, “metal mulisha”. wear: trucker hats off center, plug earrings, sunglasses, wife beater shirt or no shirt, sagging dickies shorts, high black socks, skater shoes or those black corduroy slipper things, have a lot of tatoos of things like stars.

Flatbiller of the Day - a site dedicated to flatbillers, aka bros.

August 6th, 2008 | East vs. West, Funny, Best and Worst Lists, Entertainment, Friendly Encounters, Planes Trains & Automobiles