This is a reply to a blog post written by a contemporary of mine named Amy, whose blog goes by the name ‘Ship in a Bottle’.  Please read her blog post, My Biological Egg Timer is Ticking, Ticking, Ticking, before reading my analysis and reply.

I sincerely hope this whole thing is a joke - the glasses, the provocatively nerdy pose behind the mac book, and using Natalie Dylan’s virginity auction as justification for actively seeking out a sperm donor via the internet.  I have no problem with people using the internet to whore themselves out, or saying intentionally controversial things to get their 15 minutes of fame, but I have to draw the line when their quest for infamy involves creating another life.

Amy, I am roughly the same age as you, I have done extensive study in the same field in which you almost have a PhD, and I too can sympathize with feeling as though your biological clock is working against you; I get it.  That said, your post makes it apparent that your selfish instinct for self-preservation is overriding your logical, academic reasoning.  Having a child past 30, or even in your 40s is not biologically impossible, and there are numerous women out there that have given birth to healthy babies in their ‘advanced maternal age’.  As someone proclaiming to be well-versed in science, you should know better than most that age is only one factor in having a successful pregnancy. Heredity and environmental exposures also play a major role in the health of a baby, especially with regard to the development of birth defects.

Do you think that having a child at 26 is somehow going to protect you from any sort of adverse side effects?  That doing it now, on your own, is somehow going to be easier than waiting a few years down the road into your thirties?  Your post is childish in so many ways; it is apparent you are not ready to become a parent, much less a single parent.  Here are a few star examples of your flawed logic:

“I’ve decided to pursue my dream despite the fact that there’s no sign of marriage in my immediate – or perhaps even distant – future.” - Are you also a fortune teller?!  How do you know you will not run into the man of your dreams tomorrow on your morning jog?

“I have wanted to have a baby for the past five years, but I knew that my life (and my child’s) would be easier if I waited until I finished school and got settled into a career.” - This just tells me that there is a deeper issue at play here - no 21 year old college student sits in their apartment and thinks about wanting a kid.

“Of course, I always imagined that I would have my first baby after being married and that having a family would be more of a partnership than a solo venture.” - This one is actually pretty sound.  It is just too bad you do not over ride your self-centeredness and go with your imagination and wait to find someone to have a child with, instead choosing to find some foreign sperm on the internet so you can have YOUR baby.

Now, if we can, I would like to take a look at what I consider to be two of the bigger problems in our society today - overpopulation and children without fathers; I think both play a major role in the demise of humans as a whole.  The fact that you would willingly, and purposely, get pregnant to bring another child into this world without a father is appalling.  Single parenthood happens, and in some situations it is really unavoidable, but in this instance it just boils down to you being too self-involved to wait a few years and see where life takes you.  Who is going to suffer in this case?  Certainly not you, since you seem to have everything figured out up to and including where the kid will attend high school, but just take a minute to pause, and think about the child.

A baby is not a fish.  The second that child is born, your life as you know it will morph into something unrecognizable from its previous state.   No amount of planning will ever ensure your decision to have this child will produce the intended results.  It is so baffling that a student of Biophysics could be so lax in acknowledging the role the chaotic nature of the universe plays in our everyday lives.  From one 20-something to another, please use the same discretion you would in analysing the results of a scientific study in deciding whether or not to try and conceive a few weeks from today.  When there is an issue with getting from the chemical precursors to the final product in a reaction, one of the key elements is missing, and I think you know what that element is in this case.

September 24th, 2008 | Freelance Writing, Health