Why? Well, it turns out that Ian Usher’s wife of 12 years recently walked out on him, and he can not bear to remain in this existence where everything is a reminder of the life they once shared together. After reading the website related to the auction, it seems to me that Ian is caught somewhere between melodrama and a mid-life crisis. He sees this experiment as a way to wipe the slate clean and emerge a new man; a rebirth of sorts. While I think it is noble and admirable to take such drastic measures to cleanse yourself of painful memories, I think Ian is overlooking the fact that at the end of the day all he is getting rid of is “stuff”, and not addressing the root of the problem.
There is no doubt that thing things you own wind up owning you, and I hope that Ian’s auction is more a realization of this fact, rather than a way to try to deal with heartbreak. You can get rid of every memento someone has given you and/or move to the other side of the world, but unless you make peace with the fact that your relationship failed, and accept your role in that failure, you are going to be hopelessly stuck in the same place regardless of your geographic location. You are going to maintain the same memories, regardless of the material possessions you have given up in an attempt to move on. I just do not think he is cognizant of the fact that she is the reason for everything he has done in the past few months to get to a better place, and perhaps he should thank her for leaving him and allowing him to have this opportunity to better himself, instead of playing the victim.
I have very little doubt that this quest will ultimately lead Ian to a better place in his life, despite the fact that he seems unaware of the other factors working on him that have lead him to this decision. At the very least, his choice has opened people’s minds to consider the possibility of whether or not they too would be able to execute such an undertaking – do you think you could do it?!
Website – http://www.alife4sale.com/index.htm
Ebay Auction – http://cgi.ebay.com.au/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&Item=250255442325&Category=149260
You’ve written two columns that made me cry. The other one was about starving a dog to death as art.
There’s a lot going on in the connection between a person and their “stuff,” George Carlin (RIP) made right-on fun of it. Still, even animals get attached to their dens and some even decorate them. My mother’s dog ran upstairs and hid in her closet for a long time after her body was taken from the house. Sometimes I joined her. We’d sit there in the dark, smelling Mum, feeling our past, somehow comforted in that painful space where only her “stuff” still lived.
Sometimes we hang onto “stuff” because we don’t yet know how futile it is to live with memories instead of real people. We are animals and we react naturally to operant conditioning. We hit that pleasure bar for years with cups of coffee in the morning, a daily hug, shared experiences and conversations at a particular dining table, next to a particular window, listening to the same toast pop-up noise.
At some level, we know it will all someday end but it’s not real until our noses are rubbed in it. An actual death, an actual divorce, an actual betrayal or disappointment or shock or loss or nervous bloody breakdown and long term anguish. People respond differently to that pain.
Beware of discounting how important stuff-mediated pain can be. The growing movement to love all the horrible things that happen to us can analyze love to death. To death.
I heard the other day on the radio that after the E-Bay sale concluded that he was disappointed that his “life” didn’t bring in more money. Sounds a bit fishy to me. I checked out the website and thought he was selling his life because he simply couldn’t bear – living in it – any longer. Seems that now that the final tally is in – his “life” wasn’t worth what he thought it was.
I agree that he needs to deal with his emotional issues separately from his material possessions. You can’t sell your memories. Unfortunately you need to take the good with the bad.
I have a feeling the $300K +/- he received for his life isn’t going to take him very far for very long. I also heard that he was selling his life story on his website. A pretty boring tome at that (according to a number of reviews that I read from people who had actually paid for the download). So…the question remains….what was he really selling? I think he was trying to sell his name and story for a quick and easy buck – and unfortunately has now got to live with the results…and the pain remains.