My Struggle With Television Addiction

In case I have neglected to mention it before, I am a recovering TV junkie. A straight up, come home from work, and head right for the boob-tube entertainment whore. I would usually start my evening at my TV tray, with my dinner and my starter show. The starter show was always something with light content or that I had seen before; just as long as it did not require my full attention to in order to understand. Daytime talk shows such as Rachel Ray and Ellen (I had a TiVo) and syndicated network shows like Seinfeld, Full House, and Friends fit into my mealtime slot rather well and served as the perfect introduction to a mindless, zombified evening.

The dinner time slot was about an hour, and at 7 I would get into the hour long game show portion of the evening. Being the academic type that I am, I would fit in my nightly study session playing along with Jeopardy, and follow up with some word teaser fun on Wheel of Fortune. At a low point of my addiction I even went as far as registering for the Wheel Watchers Club and convincing myself that I needed to watch every evening to see if I was the winning club member.

My programming choices from 8pm on would change depending on the season. During the prime time television months from September until about April, I would watch the new episodes of my favorite shows from all genres. I really have no idea how I managed to keep track of the goings-on happening on all these programs, but somehow I was simultaneously involved in about 20+ shows including: House, American Idol, Grey’s Anatomy, Food Network Star, Project Runway, Top Model, Ugly Betty, ER, The Hills, Laguna Beach, and Rockstar (both INXS and Supernova).

I would spend my weekends on the couch, TV tray at my side, and the remote under the couch cushion so I was never confused as to its whereabouts. I strayed from my workday television regime on Saturdays and Sundays and filled the hours with countless Lifetime movies, Food Network specials, and MTV reality show reruns. As one can imagine, the only proper accompaniment for junky television is junky food! So I would munch down on those Doritos while watching Paula Deen throw 14 sticks of butter into her down home country chocolate coronary cake and stuff spoonfuls of Ben and Jerry’s in my gizzard while a 16 year old on MTV cried because her daddy bought her the wrong color Mercedes for her birthday.

Then I had to quit cold turkey. Butterfinger had threatened me for months that he was going to cut off my entertainment lifeline if I did not straighten up my act, and when budget cuts needed to be made, DirecTV was the first amenity thrown to the sharks. I had to re-learn how to eat dinner without Jennifer Aniston and her other Friends, and how would I ever make it through a Saturday without taking in a Food Network challenge show??

It has taken time, but I have proudly changed my life. No longer am I a prisoner in my own home rendered useless in front of a box with some flashing lights and sounds. I still struggle with entertainment media addiction and, like a crack head now addicted to cigarettes, I get my weekly fix spending a few hours over the weekend studying my People magazine. If someone would like to buy my TV I have it listed on Craigslist, it would really help me out a lot, thanks:)