Fake Thunderstorm Wal Mart Extravaganza

I was pretty excited yesterday morning. It was a Sunday, I slept in until about 8:30 am or so, and the sky was overcast – they had actually been calling for rain, and maybe even some thunderstorms! I quickly rushed through my shower and subsequent morning ritual because I did not want to miss a minute of the impending precipitation and light show. I checked the radar and forecasts once more, yes, we are going to definitely see some action this morning, maybe the cloud cover will even last all day?! I began working on making sure all of my files were saved and even contemplated shutting down my computer all together; did not want to risk a power surge destroying my new supercomputer setup. Then I heard it, a soft rumbling working in the distance…

This strange sound peaked the interest of Tucker and Guapo. They both walked, in no particular hurry, to the window to check out the commotion outside. By this time the rumble had faded into the background and, when they did not spot any of the neighbor children or a much-loathed cat in the cul-de-sac, they assumed their sleeping positions on the floor. Crack!

Those dogs got up quicker than if I had been dangling a freshly cooked steak in front of their noses and bolted into the backyard. In their doggy craniums they decided that it would be most effective if they attempted to scare the thunder into submission by barking at it and then retreating back into the house. The optimal amount of barks per thunder boom was decided to be one, with Guapo saying his piece first, followed by Tucky. This happened about three more times, a soft boom would be heard, the dogs would scurry into the backyard to let out their call, and immediately run back into the safety of the house.

While I found these doggy antics to be entertaining and at the peak of cuteness, I was beginning to become discouraged because the rumbles just were not getting any closer. Plus, the “flash flood watch” amounts of rain I had been so excited about looked about as probable as Paris Hilton writing a thesis on, well, pretty much anything. At first I began to curse the lying meteorologists, but then something dawned on me, what do So Cal people do when it rains? Nothing! They are all such terrible drivers that they are afraid to go out in even the slightest bit of the wet stuff. As soon as it started drizzling I grabbed my purse and headed out the door, I was going to Wal Mart!

I have a great disdain for shopping at Wal Mart, mostly because of the gigantic crowds I find myself surrounded by when frequenting their establishment. I have a hard time pushing a cart around as it is, then take into consideration the fact that I usually have at least one 50 pound bag of dog food in my cart, while trying to maneuver through screaming children and people trying to decide which toilet bowler cleaner is the cheapest. Even when I do manage to break away from a wolf pack, within 10 seconds of arriving at my new location I am joined by another shopper. It is not so much the company that I mind, but I unknowingly wear my “please talk to me” sign whenever I am out, and am presented with questions ranging from “my niece is about your size, do you think this would fit you” to “I have a hemorrhoid that just will not quit, which one of these creams do you think works best?”. This was not the case during the mini rainstorm on Sunday though…

I whipped around turns with the greatest of ease and scooped up about 15 bottles of Arizona iced tea without being bumped into once. I think I passed a grand total of about 10 people while I was in the store, half of which were smiling Wal Mart employees. I actually had time to look at the prices in the toilet paper aisle and do proper comparisons before making my final selection. I took my time moseying around in sections I normally would not dare trek into like toys and electronics. No one stopped me to ask whether or not I thought they should buy the fat-free ice cream or low-fat ice cream. When I was ready to complete my transaction I was the only person checking out, and my stuff was totaled and bagged before I could even get my wallet from my purse.

I really needs to fake rain more often.