Craigslist Round Dos

I spent the better part of two hours photographing and posting various items to the popular low-baller and flake site known as Craigslist aka cl. I have posted previously about the use of this site and my complete lack of negotiation tactics, and I am confident now that this time around I will be able to sell things to people at the correct asking prices without bursting into laughter when asked for item details. I already had two calls this morning about an office chair we are selling and Butterfinger only had to remind me once that I should stop laughing; just typing that makes me want to nervously giggle!

Cl is such an interesting counterculture. I have already gotten an email from someone who wanted to trade me video game accessories for another Xbox in exchange for Gamecube wireless controllers. When I tell you I am moving, and not interested in trading I am not trying to be elusive or tricky, I do not want your Xbox 360 headset in exchange for Mario Kart; cash only please.

I am excitedly anticipating the standard email from the bonehead that wrote me this cute little response in regards to some computer memory up for sale during the last liquidation sale – “They are $8 in a store , brand new,bozo.” Classy, right? Then he will always attach his list of useless junk, which I will include for your viewing pleasure:

For a fair value trade, please, choose comparable number of items from the list below:

Household:

· Furniture:

· Dining table Blond birch tree. Smooth surface. Dimensions: 60”x36”x30”.

· Framed Pictures (Dimensions-One: 29”x40”x 1.5” and two: 12.5″X 13.5″).

· Barstool (rotating padded seat).

· Shelves (beige, 3 shelves, dimensions 9”x24”x36”).

· Toastmaster Snackster (Snack n’ Sandwich Maker).

· George Foreman’s Lean Mean Grilling Machine.

· Bike gel seat (deep groove).

· Medium “Beverly Hills” and “Nike” duffel bags.

· Four brand new energy-saving 100W fluorescent bulbs.

· SEAL swimming/snorkeling Masks (Silver Frame & Tinted Lens).

· Collection of CDs, books, English dictionaries.

· Leather CD wallet & Nylon CD player organizer (has compartments for a player, its accessories and CDs). Like new.

Older PC Software

· MS Flight Simulator 2000 Pro with the Resource Book.

· OS: MS Backoffice 4.5- nine CDs (used to value over $3K), MS NT4 Workstation & Resource Kit (all the software is original with proper CD keys).

Wow. Now I have to admit, the Beverly Hills duffel bag and bike gel seat are very tempting, but I think I might have to go with the framed pictures – I like the element of surprise, and can hardly imagine what pictures would be framed by this type of bonehead. I really do not think this guy would get to me as much if he would have chosen to use many of the numerous other derogatory adjectives for human behavior, but referring to me as nothing more than an unintelligent buffoon based on a price I listed for some computer RAM is absurd. Further adding to his lack of logic, he attached this useless list of crap in the very same email in which he branded me a ‘bozo’. This genetic misfit gives me very little hope for the human race and deserves to be sold a bag of burning dog excrement.

I will be waiting for your email Paul and look forward to reading the numerous other outrageous offers that people will undoubtedly send; maybe I will create a compilation of the worst negotiators, best insults, and lowest offers.